Another One Fell Through The Cracks

Most kids who get shipped away to college find their niche. Most of them find some group with which they can identify. It's a group where their closest friends are, the group where they feel most comfortable. It's a group where they can do the things they like to do with minimal fear of rejection or being outcast. It's just where they "fit".

Some kids go to college and never really find that niche. I'm one of these kids. I don't seem to fit. I've struggled with it for almost 3 years now. I just can't seem to find a group of people with whom I can identify. In high school, I had no problem fitting. I felt so comfortable in my high school choir, band, and speech team. At church, I felt at home in my youth group. But college has been altogether different.

I feel like I have a fairly unique story too. I carry it with me to remind myself how I came to where I am. I've seen a lot of strange, wonderful, terrible things in my college experience. The person I am today and the person I was as a first-semester freshman are absolutely completely different. And I have a completely different view of people around me too. My political views now are the opposite of my political views in high school. And that's only the beginning. I could go on and on.

I hate how so many of my peers seem to just find their niche like its no big deal. Due to chance, they just meet some people who share similar interests with them and are really cool. And it's more than that. These guys grow to become best friends. There's a comraderie between them that is unique--unlike any other group of friends anywhere. I just can't find that. Maybe I'm hot on the trail. I don't know.

Tonight, I'm just feeling the angst associated with the reality of transferring to a different school. It hasn't been any easier here. I know that God called me to transfer, and I know that I wanted to transfer anyway. I just keep looking for the big picture. And I'm not seeing much. For now, I feel like another kid who fell through the cracks somehow.