Why "Larry The Cable Guy" Isn't Funny At All

My friend and I were flipping through TV channels the other day, desperately looking for some tasty morsel of audiovisual stimulation. We happened upon Comedy Central's "Blue Collar Comedy Tour". Almost immediately, my friend insisted that we must watch this show because "it's hilarious". I objected and began reprobating the show, describing in detail all the reasons why the show is not at all funny. The following is a shortened, edited version of my position. Basically, I took out most of the parts where I'm openly insulting my friend and bitch-slapping him. I'm using "Larry the Cable Guy" as a representation of the show as a whole.

1) "Larry the Cable Guy" Is Fooling You
What Daniel Lawrence Whitney (Larry's real name) wants you to believe is that he is actually a blue-collar, down-home, good-ol' boy just like y'all. He wants everyone to believe that he is the toolbelt-wearing, cut-off-flannel-shirt-donning guy that he appears to be. And the charade works. Ostensibly, I have every reason to believe that this guy is a low-income, "redneck"-style guy shouting "Git-R-Done!" and "Hoooweee!" at the top of his second-hand-smoke-afflicted lungs. However, in reality, he's laughing at you. Not vice versa. A better description of Larry would be a "flannel-shirt-wearing multi-mililonaire who could fart on stage and America would laugh". Larry was born and raised in Nebraska, then moved to Florida when he was 16. That's where that accent comes from?

And I don't begrudge Larry for his money. He has worked for his money, and he deserves whatever people are willing to give him. If someone wants to drop $100 for "Git-R-Done" t-shirts, mugs, and bottle openers, then hey, good for him. I just think it is a misrepresentation of the whole image he's trying to uphold.

In other words, Larry is a lot smarter than he seems.

2) "Larry the Cable Guy" Is Just In The Right Place At The Right Time
Larry epitomizes the sad state that America is in right now. Larry is a "proud-to-be-racist", anti-gay, "God's Country", "salt of the earth", "gee shucks" comedian. The only reason he's in the position he's in is because that's what America likes right now. That is America's mentality right now. Really vague values, and a sense of pride that defies any sense of intellectual thought. It's sad. He's a nod to the "Religious Right" that literally controls about 80% of the votership in this country. He's tipping his hat to all the Tom DeLays, Dr. James Dobsons, Timothy LaHayes, Roy Moores, and Pat Robertsons in America. Let's face it, liberals, we have been backed into a few select corners of the map. Basically, New England, Chicago, Seattle, and Southern Cali. The rest of the country, by and large, is conservative. And Larry plays to this whole demographic that loves to paint with broad strokes.

Now, I'm all for being un-P.C. I hate being politically correct. So hey, Larry, way to be. But Larry's act goes way too far. David Cross' act is un-P.C. Larry's is just blatantly racist. Don't think so? Here's an excerpt from Larry's act.

"The Republicans had a Muslim give the opening prayer at their convention! What the hell's going on around here! Is Muslim now the official religion of the United States!... First these peckerheads ( Ironically, "peckerhead" was a derogatory word slaves and their offspring used to describe white people) fly planes into towers and now theys (sic) prayin' before conventions! People say not all of em did that and I say who gives a rats fat ass! That's a fricken slap in the face to New York city by having some muslim sum-bitch give the invocation at the Republican convention! This country pretty much bans the Christian religion (the religion of George Washington and John Wayne) virtually from anything public and then they got us watchin' this Muslim BS!! Ya wanna pray to Allah then drag yer flea infested ass over to where they pray to Allah at!" End Quote. So... yeah. There you go. This quote goes on and on but my favorite part is when he says toward the end, "...now look, I love all people (except terrorist countries that want to kill us)..."

It's kind of like saying "Dear God, save us from all the Muslims, queers, illegal immigrants, and wealthy Jew bankers. Amen."

I could keep going, but I need to stop. Tell me what you think! Comment!